Book contributions

[Gilgar]

Ok everyone, this is the official thread for posting contributions to our book in progress. I know some of you may be a bit timid about it, but please post your works. All profits are going to the HoC, and this gives us up and coming poets a chance to get our names out there in the public eye. You can put several of your works in the same post or post them seperatley, it's your choice. I think if we get around 50 to 100 poems we will have a good book to try and get published. And I'm wondering what you all think about having small authors bioghrapies included.

[Gilgar]

Balance disturbed, one question, two answers.
Justice should be served, my doubts linger.
Eternal struggle, death or life for this man.
Fierce debate within, I struggle to decide.
Distinct accusations, he killed, he cheated, he lied.
Time will run out shortly, a descision should be made.
Caution should be taken, but I'm sure I'm not mistaken.
Exit the vile mans life, responsibility lies with me.
Sanity now broken, I can do this no longer.
New life is much more calming, at the sanitarium.


They intervene "you drink to much" fuck them what do they know.
My mind descimated, spirits crushed, fuck them what do they know.
My mind in shambles, the pain won't fade. Maybe, maybe they know.
My life a frozen wasteland, my pain rules me now.
I hear them still friends of old "there's still time for you to grow".
Hallway of pain, it's a long journey, one day I'll be the old me.
A new man now reborn of pain, time and toils mark my face.
I'm better now than ever I was, fuck me, they were right.

Tawdry affairs every time I'm away.
People unknown to me.
Picture follows picture out of focus in my mind.
My life in shambles, the ruination of time.
My sanity blows away on the wind of my bravado.
All pretense forgotten, my heart begins to flutter.
The offending evil gone now, her only question, Why?
I go now to my private hell.
For this is the last day of myself.

Hatred boiling in my blood, a lust for pain, make them scream.
Violent tendencies, a person not myslef. Make them hurt.
A twisted feeling deep inside. Give me blood, I want your life.
Demented notions in my mind. Death for you, I WANT YOUR LIFE.
I have a feel for killing, it's a wild fucking ride.
What brings these rages out in people, the need to kill, the want to die.
Oh look, the full moon, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME YOUR LIFE.


Blood on my hands, a tear in my eye.
Hatred boiling deep inside, I'll make you cry.
Violent urges twist my mind, dead inside.
Full moon emerges, I welcome the pain.
Twist your head, break your neck.
I scream for you, I mourn you.
Dementia turns my mind to mush.
Silence, hush...


The ghost father.
Belt, cheek, rub the red flesh.
Zipper down, dark blush, Belt.
Laugh, moan, scream, The Belt.
Happy poem, but angry heart, fire a pack.
Black eyes, a light head, sleep.
Miss Rose. A smile, and a kiss.
A fun day, lust and alarm, moan and scream, sleep.
Tight eyes, black glasses, fire a roach.
Angry eyes, flesh and ice, car and car, a scream.
Cup the light flesh ghost father, and scream.


Beauty such as this should never be forgotten.
Grace be with me as I seek to do you justice.
My heart is lightend by the smile on your face.
I open my painting case.
The colors dance upon the canvas, but fail to be you.
I take a clean start and prepare to begin anew.
A fresh canvas, a new technique with my paint.
Your golden hair shines, I try to capture the look upon your face.
I'm finished now and all the people sing my praise.
A chorus of questions, how did I imagine such a beatiful face.
It's a secret I will never share, it will stay with me till the end of my days.


Soul to soul we match just right.
Beautiful girl, full of life and light.
Heart of passion, a lady of grace.
Smile framed by long dark curls.
Holding tight to my sweet Ginny.
The sunset framed a perfect ending.


Flesh To flesh, My heart To Yours.
Key To Lock And The Secrets Pour.
Soul Emptied Of Secrets.
All Knowledge Revealed.
She Is Now One Of Two Whom Knows How I Feel.
My Love Offered, My Honesty Proffered.
Will She Remember The Times We Shared?
Questions Racing Through My Mind.
Tears In My Eyes, Blinded By Light.
My Life Now Darkness, In Pain Enshrined.
There’s One Last Secret To tell Her...When I Take Her Life.





Death, my ever present fellow.
You never leave me to my own, like a constant pain in my middle.
Your the one thing I can count on.
Always there to bring me down when I reach my pinnacle.
The best times of my life are spent in your comraderie.
It’s like your trying to make a point, like you think I don’t know your there.
I know who it is when the call comes.
No matter who’s on the other end, I can hear you in their voice.
You’ve taken many of those important to me, and left a sad, hollow shell.
Let’s reach an understanding, I know I could die tommorrow.
It’s not for this I mourn, but for those I leave behind.
I know their sorrow.


I am your sinister urge.
I am a figure shrouded in darkness.
I am wrapped in the shadows of a death shroud.
I am the night walker, the lone stalker.
I am the blackness in mans’ heart.
I am the tainted part of your soul.
I am the dark half of your reflection.
I am why children see monsters in closets.
I am why you like to be scared.
I am he, I am she, I am you, I am me.
I am hope and despair, I am longing and betrayl.
I am the ultimate product of society.
You will meet me in the future, until then, I wish you well.


A smile on a dim day, pushes the cold away.
A hug on a grim evening, gives reason to keep breathing.
A single tear can show joy, love, pain, and fear.
But a single rose is better than all of those.

A rose can inspire, sadden, remind us to forget.

When the darkness draws in and the day is done.
When the cold kills and all seems lost.
A single rose can erase the cold, and find the lost.



A few random thoughts, bounce around in my head.
I try to wake up, but feel almost dead.
I grab a pack, and spark a few, Yes I do.
A little more aware now, some thoughts coalesce.
I need to piss.
That feels good, It's shower time now.
Where's my towel???
Pants on, butt crack wet.
Shirt on, butt crack wet.
Where's my belt? Oh, it's in my other pants.
Smoke break, Almost awake.
Stub toe, Fucking Table!
Awake now, ow.



My stainless steel butterfly.
Cut me deep, bleed me dry.
As life blood leaves me, the memories flee me.
Drop after drop, pain after pain.
The big question now, am I still sane?
Cold hard steel, pierces warm live flesh.
Pain and ecstasy mesh.
A sting, a burn, no longer do I yearn.
Embrace the darkness, I fear my own hands now.




Here I am, alone again, in the midst of all these people.
Appearing to be just another face in the crowd.
Little do they know it’s time for the revolution.
I’m going to say what I feel, I’m going to make it loud.
Hundreds, if not thousands, within range of my speech.
None of them know what’s coming their way.
I’m prepared to make my stand, say what I need to say.
Nothing, and no one, will stand in my way.
I prepare to speak, in this all will hear me.
I check my settings, and still my breath.
I feel for the ones about to hear my thunder.
They will go down in history, right along with me.
I speak the words, say what few want to hear.
But my point is clear, the revolution is here.




A man in a suit, "we've come to audit you".
We'll take only what Uncle Sam is entitled to.
They make off like bandits with a large bag of loot.
My wealth is gone, I am left destitute.
I sell all I have, keeping only one thing.
A classic Chevy car that my father left me.
I sit night and day, in that old Chevy car.
A bottle beside me, it's unopened thus far.
My destination reached, a place special to me.
No rational thoughts left to hinder my deeds.
I produce a revolver, it's no significant gun.
The choice has been made, from myself I cannot run.
The things I'm accused of I cannot escape.
Suggestions of "cooking the books" have been made.
Time and struggle have finally worn me down.
As I begin to lose control, I take a final look around.
I remember the deeds I have done in my life.
And all the times I failed to stand and fight.
The sun begins to sink in the western sky.
I say goodbye with the passing of the light.
The pull of the trigger, muzzle flashing brightly.
In the great book of life, the pages turn silently...


This isn't my complete works, just what I consider a best of. I'll get some more in here later.

[Survivor]

N

[purple_fusion_87]

that sounds great...i will have to find a few of mine later to add to this

[Gilgar]

You never cease to amaze me Dean, I think we're off to a good start. And Purple submit as many as you want, the more selection we have to choose from the better the odds of having an awesome compilation.

[purple_fusion_87]

i dont have many...so i will have to work on some more.. do you know when this will probably get into action?

[HarlotsBeast]

As soon as I find mine I'll get to posting a few... it's been a rough day and my mind is barely working...

I like the idea of the author bio's... I'd go for it...

[Gilgar]

Ok, I think to keep this thread on track we should probably post questions in the poetry book thread. Comments on poetry are fine here.


Let's rock folks, we're the next big thing!!!

[HarlotsBeast]

I'm going to submit a few that I've already had on here... it's easier for me right now to go through my old topics and find them instead of going through and tearing my house apart looking for all my stuff....

Here's sub #1

The Living Failure...

In the shine of fading eyes
Misery and happiness collide
In the shallow beating of a blackened heart
Death and life mingle nonchalantly
Burning urges of death and drugs
Gripping this cross-wired brain
One shot, two shot, three shot, four
Fat joint, paper tab, long line, more
Out at midnight, wasted by one
Whiskey comments and cocaine whispers
Followed by a cloudy choke and spotted sight
Nothing matters, at two-thirty in the morning
Everything fades by three.
One shot, big hit, fat rail, floor.
Sinster urges and black fat night
Mixing with the empty gazes of plastic life.
151 and a blaze to match.
One Shot, Two Shot, Three Shot, More
Whiskey, Weed, Speed Galore!!
Failure to reconstruct the death
Of a wasted soul and forgotten genius
Stepped right up and clicked delete.
Double shootin, bong hitter, spun out whore
The mirror doesn't lie at four in the morning
The fuzz on your mind is only temporary
If you live to be a thousand....

sub #2

Move On

Balancing upon a highwire of thought;
Reaching out for your dreams.
Even after all has been destroyed,
Justice is within your grasp.
Gripped by an eternal struggle,
as firece as a lion fight,
between what is wrong and
what is right, something distinct to cling to.
With no more than time on your side;
It's time to toss caution to the four winds.
Head westward young sons and daughters
Follow the setting sun into a bright new world.
Look back not upon the exit doors of darkness,
but upon the dreams that may yet be rekindled.
Breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that your sanity
still holds true and strong.
Drink deep of these untroubled and untouched waters,
and see this bright new world through unsheltered eyes.

[Dutchie]

Mine are mostly posted already but here again then

A secret

I know you just want pleasure
and nothing serious with me
you want to go out
you want to be free

I have accepted that
I don’t cling to you
You have your life
And I have one too

I don’t say anything when you leave
But I am happy when you’re here
So I won’t disturb you
I will hide my fear

I make love to you
With my body and my heart
Still I don’t cry
every time we part

I have respected your need
to be wild and free
Still I treasure the time
you spent with me

And one day I will tell you
My own little secret
cause even though you probably
don’t feel the same for me
Still I have to say I love you
secretly

==============================
What is it like for you?

when you hit me
when you push me down
When you turn my innocent smile
into a painfully depressed frown
How does it feel for you?

Do you feel powerfull
hitting me again and again
Does it make you feel good about yourself
when you see me in pain?
Does it make you happy?

What does it do to you
when you see how the kid's fears
of you hurting me
are refelected in my tears
Does it ever make you feel bad?

What is it like for me?
I am hurt, ashamed, scared
I wish I could see
What I did so wrong to deserve
the things that you do to me

I lost my dignity and my pride
I am no longer alive inside
Most of all I fear for my kids
Cause they see the things you did

How will they be affected by you?
Will they grow up to be violent too?
This thought keeps me awake at night
And that thought makes me wanna leave you
when we had another fight.

But somehow I just can't get it done
I am afraid to raise the kids all alone
So I suck it up and I stay
Because I don't want to take their daddy away

But more and more I feel inside
That an important part of me died
I hope you one day can see
how you killed a part of me
maybe then you can explain me:
What is it like for you?

=====================================

My heart

I would give you my heart,
really I would
I would give you my soul
if I could
But you see
They got torn
by a guy, who’s ring
I have worn
I got them back
No longer in one piece
So I decided
to put them at ease
I will never give them away again

But I tell you what
You can share my thoughts
Of my happiness you can be a part
But I am sorry to say
I can not give you my heart.
You see I got attached to it
And all it’s pain I feel
So I will keep it with me
Till I find a love that’s real

So if you want to be with me
Let’s give it a try
Let’s start,
I will give you my everything
just don’t ask for my heart

==================================

Besides the window I sit
Broken hearted and in pain
Outside, the sun is shining
Inside, my life is filled with rain

In my memories
In my dreams
A happy bright future
nothing is as it seems

Two lives, once unseperateable
Now so far apart
Not only in distance
But also in the heart

The lives of 2 children
so innocent and sweet
Torn apart by promises
we never did meet

My tears stopping
no longer falling from my eyes
knowing from the inside
a heart never really dies
=============================

Utopia

Several years I’ve known you
Several years I have loved you
Several times I have told you
You just don’t feel the same

It is something I know
and something I understand
But it’s hard
because you are a great friend

Holding back my feelings
cause I don’t want to lose you
Thinking I should walk away
Knowing I just don’t want to

So I stay here
and be your friend
Hoping that our friendship
won’t just end

But if it ever does
I will never forget
I never thought I could love
some one I have never meet
=============================
If only

With tears in my eyes
I hear you say you love me
I wish I could say it back
But it isn't meant to be

I see how happy the kids are
when you come through the door
I wish I could feel the same
But it isn't like before

Somehow things have changed
My feelings aren't the same
My heart no longer skips a beat
by the mentioning of your name

And no matter how I try
I can't get back on the right track
I lost the loving feeling
and can't seem to get it back

[Gilgar]

Good work all, if we keep it up at this rate we'll have good starting material in a week.

[Survivor]

Hr

[Gilgar]

Rock on guys, I'm gonna try to get these printed off this weekend. I'm workin on a few more of my own too. And remember, if you see someones poem that particulary sings to you, then hit me with a PM containing author and title.

[HarlotsBeast]

Will do... although that will take me a bit... I'm still trying to figure out what ones of mine to submit...

[Survivor]

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted, things I’ve done, things I’ve said
But when the world looks the other way, it makes it hard to get ahead
I know that in the past few years, I’ve caused you lots of pain
I never really intended to, because really what’s to gain?
I will love you all my life, through good times and through bad
I know I’ve hurt you many times, and that’s what makes me sad
I try my best to be a good man, through all the things I do
But all that I keep hearing, is how much that I’ve hurt you
All that I ever wanted, was to have a real good life
I thought it would be easy, with you as my loving wife
When I think about my love for you, it makes me want to cry
When I think about you being gone, it makes me want to die
You are the woman I’ll always love; this much I know is true
I can’t imagine living my life, in a world that doesn’t contain you
You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever known
I’m sorry for not showing you, the things I should have shown
I tried to show you things in life that you’ve never known
Now I sit here by myself, and feel so all alone
All the trials in my life, have really gotten me down
It’s all so overwhelming, I feel like I might drown
You are all that matters to me, I’ll love you till I die
And every time I think of you, all I can do is cry
I swore to God I would cherish you till the end of days
And I would never tell a lie because it never pays

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good and Bad

I’m sorry for the way things are, some ways I’ll try to mend,
But when it’s not quite right for you, you won’t even bend,
You are so angry all the time, and I just don’t know why,
I talk to you till I’m blue in the face, why do I even try?
You don’t listen or understand, just what I’m all about,
You just sit there and tell me, that you’d rather be without,
I’m the man who’ll always love you, till my dying day,
You’re the woman who promised me, that you’d always stay,
Now the times are getting tough, we’re fighting all the time,
It may not be a lot of fun, but then again its no crime,
If we try to work it out, together and side by side,
No one will ever have to know, about the tears we cried,
I know we both have said some things, that we shouldn’t say,
But that’s the way things happen, when cruising life’s highway,
I remember the good times, before our present plight,
When we’d look at each other, and we knew that it was right,
Those were some great days, and the nights were too
But for now we both just sit around, feeling oh so blue
I would like to try to recover, feelings from back then
It shouldn’t be too hard to do, if we’re willing to bend,
Because you’re my reason for living, I swear to you that’s true
The world would be a cold bitter place, if it weren’t for you.
I would do whatever it takes, to help you heal those cuts,
But asking me to go away, is like kicking me in the guts,
I want to stay right by your side, all the live long day,
And for that very reason, to Our Father I must pray,
It was a prayer that made you mine, oh so long ago
And another prayer is what it takes, to make things all aglow,
So I will pray both day and night, that we can both be strong,
And make it through the problems, no matter who is wrong,
Wrong or right are not the facts, to this I can attest,
All that really matters, is that we tried our very best,
We tried our best to do what’s right, no matter what the cost,
And in those little battles, were a lot of feelings lost,
Now it’s time to make amends, make everything all right,
Because in all true reality, it’s never worth the fight,
We need to stand together, like when we said our vows,
Because when we stand together, our marriage we espouse,
We used to be the couple, everybody thought was perfect,
We were so happy together, like everything just clicked,
Sure we had our share of problems, over our few years
And I’d be lying if I didn’t say; we both have shed some tears,
But in the end we’d always kiss, and make it all alright
And when we go to bed at night, we’d hold each other tight,
We knew that we were happy, to share this time alone
Because for the fight we just had, we knew we must atone
So there we were just us two, as happy as can be
Laying there holding each other, only you and me
Now those times are over, or will they live once more
I only want to be with you, so please don’t slam the door.
I know that we could make it work, if we really tried
But it doesn’t matter, when in me you won’t confide
You know that I love you, and I know you love me
You try to tell me otherwise, but really I can see
------------------------------------------------------------------------

No Happy Ending

Our life together is over it’s the choice you made
I never really wanted that I just wished you’d stayed
I had planned for our whole life together side by side
But you didn’t want it to be like that so you never tried
You never tried to work it out, the problems that we had
When I’d try to talk to you, all you’d get is mad,
I had to talk to work it through, but you had another notion
You had plans without me that you had put in motion
You left me one day high and dry with no idea why
I just stood there wondering why she didn’t try,
She didn’t try to work it out no effort did she exert,
From the way she looked at me, it didn’t even hurt
I know it hurt me really bad, right down to the bone
That fateful day she walked away and left me all alone
All alone to face the world where I had planned for two
The world is such a different place being without you
Without you I have no life it’s all but over and done
When you don’t even come around life is no more fun
The fun and games are over now your moving on
You think that you’ll be happy now that I am gone
But the happiness passes too fast and you wonder why
Could it be you left your man and didn’t even try?
He was that man that loved you throughout all the years
But you didn’t believe in that you never saw his tears
You never saw him cry at all you thought that he was cold
He cried more than you’ll ever know, he just never told
He never told you when he hurt or when he was so glad
You just always looked at him and thought that he was mad
He wasn’t as mad as you thought he was when he didn’t smile
He just wasn’t very emotional, it really wasn’t his style
He had the very same feelings that everybody else felt
But you never saw him when on his knees he knelt
And thanked the Lord for the gift that he had been handed
For in the church those years ago our fingers we had banded
He told you that he loved you more than his very life
That is why he married you and you became his wife
But you went and left him and slept with another man
And he couldn’t handle that it wasn’t part of the plan
The plan he had was you and him throughout all the years
But after you told him that he ran out of tears
You knew he was the man you could count on ever more
But the last time that you saw him he was walking out the door
Now he’s gone and you’re alone, was it worth the price you paid?
Because when it all was said and done his love you had betrayed,
He said his life was over and done when you failed to be true,
He was never with another woman; to you he remained true,
And that is the end of the story, there is no happy ending
For the cuts are deep when true love dies, for that there is no mending

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The End of It All


Now that our life together, is dead and buried in the past
There is still one thing I need to know, why it didn’t last
I always tried to do my best, and do what must be done
In the end it didn’t matter, the battle couldn’t be won
You say you fought with all you had, right up to the end
But I never saw it, your will would never bend
I know I fought with all I had, I just had to win
Because for me to lose you, that would be a sin
Because you were a gift to me, from the Man above
For you I made a promise to Him, that I’d always love
I swore that I would love you, till the end of days
And that we’d stay together, forever and always
But you proved that I was wrong, and turned and walked away
No matter how many tears I cried, begging you to stay
I can have no other woman, to you I must be true
Too bad you don’t feel the same, about me and you
You were barely gone, but still fresh in my head
And you found another man, and jumped right in his bed
That was where you hurt me, more than you’ll ever know
I will never fully recover, from that fateful blow
It hit me hard right from behind, I never saw it come
You said if I didn’t see it I must be really dumb
I saw nothing till the day you threw it in my face
I didn’t know just what to do, I was lost in space
So I made a promise and a vow to me and you
You weren’t the woman I married, she was always true
I didn’t know who you were, but you weren’t my wife
On that I’d bet a lot of cash ,or even place my life
The lady that I married, got lost in you somehow
Someday she might come out, probably not now
I sure do miss my wifey, the good times that we had
I guess those times are over, and that just makes me sad
I wanted all those good times, to last forever more
You just turned and laughed at me, as you slammed the door
You said that I was foolish, to ever believe those things
But those were the words that we said, when we exchanged our rings
I’m a man of honor; I always keep my promises and vows
I promised I would stay with you, not go out and carouse
But that didn’t matter to you, at all in the end
You left me high and dry, alone with my wounds to tend
Now my life is over and done, I am alone forever more
My fate was sealed that dark damp day, when you slammed the door
If you ever see me again, please don’t look me in the face
From the look that you will see, you’ll know I lost the race
You went on and had your fun, no concern for me
I just sat there all alone, no future could I see
The years went by I died alone, alone all by myself
When they cleaned where I had lived, my heart was on the shelf
It was never used again it was withered and decayed
The day you left he put it there and that is where it stayed
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Plan


I tried and tried to live my life, according to a plan
It seems it’s never easy to do, when you are a man
My plan was very simple, basically tried and true
I just wanted to spend my life, growing old with you
But the best laid plan, I could have ever made
Really didn’t matter, if you never stayed
Soon I figured out, you had your own plan too
But your plan was a different one, it wasn’t me and you
In your plan I was all alone, living by myself
You took away my loving heart, and put it on a shelf
On the shelf it did no good, or harm to anyone
But I really needed it, for the battle to be won
I had to fight all I could, to try and win the game
If I didn’t try to win, I had only myself to blame
If I lost my life was done, it seemed so in my head
If I couldn’t be with her, I might as well be dead
No I wouldn’t take my life, and end it with my own hand
But it was still over and done, not the way I planned
I thought that you’d be happy, to be with me for good
I was a man with lots of pride, I thought you understood
Then you did some things to me, and my ego it did shatter
I just didn’t care any more, nothing seemed to matter
I just said to hell with it, I’ll just grow old all alone
Because for imaginary sins, she said I must atone
I was the best man I could be, why must I pay
For the things I didn’t do, till I’m old and gray
As the days and years went by, I never even tried
There was no way I could recover, all the tears I cried
The tears I cried were very real, they came from my heart
I didn’t know just what to do, or where to even start
Because she wouldn’t talk to me, the wounds would never heal
If you looked into my eyes, the pain I couldn’t conceal
I tried my best to keep it in, where nobody would see
That my feelings were very real, just not shown off glibly
I kept them in where I thought, they needed to be kept
And when you walked away from me, I sat there and wept
You never knew that as a man, my feelings ran real deep
You never really looked at me close, you never saw me weep
I cried more than you’ll ever know, you just never saw
I didn’t want to show it, because you’d think it was a flaw
I was a man that needed to be strong, right to the end
I was no where near that strong, so I’d just pretend
I pretended that it didn’t hurt, when my plan went awry
On that lonely summers night, when you said goodbye
The plans I made are over now, dead and buried in the past
I should have known right from the start, your love would never last
Now my life is over and done, does anybody care?
But that’s the way things happen, when nobody is there
My life was ended that fateful night, I never loved again
But that’s what always happens, to the plans of mice and men.

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The Betrayal


I can’t believe what you have done, you promised to be true,
When you told what you had done, my life went askew,
What you did was the very worst, that you could do to me,
You gave away something of mine, and he thought it was free,
But sooner or later he’ll have to pay, a heavy price indeed,
He crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed, with that evil deed,
Now you’re doing what you know is wrong, and you know that is true,
Now I will live the rest of my life, being without you,
Now you’re spoiled, tainted and bad, all the whole way through,
You let another man touch you, now troubles starting to brew,
I never wanted trouble; I just wanted what was mine,
He’s the stupid jack-ass, that had to cross that line,
I won’t fight to get you back; because I don’t want you back,
You’re not worth that much trouble, so I won’t attack,
You made your choice to be with him, that’s the final word,
Even though I tried to talk, my words you never heard,
Now it’s too late for you and me, and that’s a crying shame,
You try to pin it all on me, but really you’re to blame,
You’re the one that up and left me, standing all alone,
Now you can’t even look at me, or even answer your phone,
What you’re doing isn’t for you; it’s really for the children
You lie and try to fool yourself, you guilt just seems to worsen,
You know you can’t go on like this, or you’re going to die,
You don’t know what else to do, so you don’t even try,
You just let your whole life slip away, without a fight,
Now you don’t know what to do, you can’t sleep at night,
At night the dreams they wake you up, and leave you in a sweat,
At light you just can’t understand, why you’re so upset,
You’re living a lie and it’s killing you, and you know that is true,
But you won’t admit to anyone, why you feel so blue,
But you threw away our lives for good, and now your sorrow grows,
Because that man won’t be around, to help to soften the blows,
He stood by you his whole life, was at your beck and call,
But now his time is over with you, no more reasons to stall,
Someday you’ll know just what you lost, with that fateful act,
Right now you don’t really understand, the complete and full impact,
Years from now when you’re alone, and no one comes to see,
You’ll wonder what became of him, when you set him free,
He wandered out into the night, and you saw him never more,
The last time you looked at him, he was walking out the door,
He walked right through the door, out into the cold.
He didn’t want to be around, if you he couldn’t hold
Hold at night when he slept, so soundly in the bed
You were the woman that he loved, that is why he wed
But now those days are over and now that he is gone
You just sit and wonder, what ever have I done?
You let him go out through the door, out into the night
Although you knew deep down inside, that it wasn’t right
You knew that he was gone for good; you knew that it was real
He never had another woman, the cuts would never heal
He spent his last remaining days, alone, all by himself
All the love he had for you, he placed upon the shelf
He never had any use for it, it just wasted away
He didn’t want to use it, after that fateful day
Now that you’re a few years older, and sitting all alone
Only now do you realize, for your deeds you must atone
Now he’s gone and you’re alone, you just wonder why
Why you let him walk away, and why you didn’t try
He probably would’ve came back to you, and maybe even stayed
Although in all reality, his love you had betrayed

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So Tired

I'm so tired of this life; all I want to do is cry,
I'm so tired of this life; I wish that I could die,
I have no friends to sit and talk, they all just turn away.
I have no family to sit and talk, I guess I have to pay,
For all the things that I’ve done wrong, my heart is full of sorrow,
For all the things that I’ve done right, no one will remember tomorrow,
I’ve tried to live a real good life, that doesn't seem to matter,
I’ve tried to live a real good life, why does everybody scatter?
They run and hide when I get down; I can never find them,
They run and hide when I get down, no friendship to bind them,
I try to cope so all alone, in a world so cold and dead,
I try to cope so all alone, I can't seem to get ahead,
Life is so hard when you're alone; all you do is think,
Life is so hard when you're alone; it's over in a blink,
All the pain that I feel, can be gone in a flash,
All the pain that I feel, will be nothing more than ash,
When this life is over and done, who will really care?
When this life is over and done, there'll be no pain to bear,
I just can't deal with all this pain; it hurts me to the core,
I just can't deal with all this pain; I can't take it any more,
I wish this life was over; I'll have no more regrets,
I wish this life was over, because no one ever forgets,
They will always remember and never forget everything that’s bad,
They will always forget and never remember all the good we had,
I try and try to make them see, I will love them forever more,
I try and try to make them see, they just slam the door,
They slam the door right in my face and turn and walk away,
They slam the door right in my face and do just what they may,
They care not at all what I'm going through, it doesn’t matter at all
They care not at all what I'm going through; they sit and watch me bawl,
I was there when they were down, a friend right till the end,
I was there when they were down, there problems helped them mend,
Now it's my turn to need some help, there's no one to be found,
Now it's my turn to need some help, and no one is around,
I have to be all by myself, to deal with all my pain,
I have to be all by myself, with only myself to blame,
All I do is sit and think, about what I've done wrong,
All I do is sit and think, it's hard to remain strong,
When all my world is crashing down, it hardly makes a sound,
When all my world is crashing down, no one is ever around,
It’s hard to try to get ahead, with everyone kicking you back,
It's hard to try to get ahead, nobody cuts you any slack,
I try to tell them how I feel, all they get is mad,
I try to tell them how I feel, how I hurt so bad,
I want things to be all right, for everyone and me,
I want things to be all right, but nobody can see,
They just turn and look away, the problem isn’t theirs,
They just turn and look away, while my heart just tears,
So screw them all right to the end, they’ll get their just deserts,
So screw them all right to the end, someday they’ll know the hurts,
Maybe then they’ll understand, why I needed their comfort,
Maybe then they’ll understand just how it feels to hurt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How Life Goes

I sit here alone at my desk, with a bottle full of pills
I wonder if I take them all, will it cure my ills?
I don’t know if it will, I know that I’d be through
Because I’m sick and tired, of being without you
But I would never take my life, at least not right today
I don’t have the balls to, so I guess I’ll have to stay
In a world that I don’t like, and it don’t like me
This is such a messed up world, I just want to be free
But my wife of many years, has dumped my by the road
Like a bunch of garbage, she needed to unload
My life as I knew it, ended that very day
When she called and told me, away from me she’d stay
I didn’t know what I had done, to deserve this fate
I tried and tried to talk to her, she said it was too late
Now I’m alone with my pills, wishing I could take
But I probably never will, I’ll never get that break
Because it is my fate, to live in misery and pain
No matter how hard I seem to try, I can never gain
I just keep going backwards, deeper in the hole
It just seems like everything, is out of my control
I try as hard as I can, to make everything all right
But no matter what I do, I can’t win the fight
Because I am all alone, up against the wall
Even though I’m getting beat, I still try to stand tall
I can never be happy, or ever smile again
Because the cards are stacked against me, and I can not win
Every time I get ahead, in the game of life
Something else comes along, and causes me more strife
I end up even further back, than I was before
Every time I try to stand, I get knocked back on the floor
So on the bottom I will stay, for the rest of my days
When I am there I’m all alone, nobody else stays
They seem to get up on there feet, and walk right out the door
While I’m still left laying there, my dreams do I abhor
My hope and dreams they never pass, they can never be
Because I am nobody good, and everyone can see
At least that is what they are told, and they don’t know the fact
On the lives of many around, I had a big impact
But even those people turn away, forgetting what I’ve done
That without me that time to save them, life would be no fun
I have helped a lot of people, and troubled very few
But they will not let me, start my life anew
That is why I sit and think about, ending my own life
I know I can’t trust anyone, even my own wife
That one is the worst, for me to comprehend
Because she had told me, we’d be together till the end
I guess that it was the end, at least for her and me
That the things were oh so bad, only she could see
I was the man that loved her, and would until I died
But no matter what the outcome, I can say I tried
I tried and tried all that I could, with everything I had
Can you say that you really tried, or did you just get mad?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
No One Ever Stays



Finally you sat down, and had your long talk with me
First thing that you told me, my dreams could never be
You and I didn’t want, the same things out of life
You didn’t want your husband, but I wanted my wife
I told you that there must be, a way to work this out
You said you didn’t want to, you didn’t need to shout
I got the message loud and clear, you were done with me
I don’t know why I had so much trouble, setting you free
I said that when we married, we did that for life
Not only in the good times, but also in the strife
The good times happened, you were there having lots of fun
But when the good times ended, you went on the run
You didn’t wait too long to see, how long the strife would last
When out in to the single men, your line you did cast
All the guys they were so nice, with their words and acts
Too bad that you really, didn’t know all the facts
The first few times you talk to a guy, it is all so fake
When they get your confidence, your panties they will take
They show you some attention, you miss back at your house
And you give them what they want, whatever’s in your blouse
They know how to play the game, and get the married lady
But if you sit and think of it, it sure seems pretty shady
They know that the husband, after all those years
Isn’t showing her attention, till after a couple beers
It isn’t that he doesn’t love her, they are in a slump
So she goes to the other man, and throws him in the dump
The other guy don’t stick around, he got what he wanted
Now the lady’s all alone, her memories are haunted
Now we get back, to the story of you and me
If you read the lines above, it doesn’t have to be
I know you are smarter than that, but still you fell
Hook, line and sinker, but you will never tell
I could do the same things, that the others do
But I know it isn’t right, look what it’s done to you
A married woman is off limits she belongs to another
If you think that I’m not right, imagine it with your mother
Tell me now what you would think, if this happened to your dad
I could tell you right off hand, that you would be so mad
Now you know the truth, you are no longer blind
Does anything I’ve told you, help to ease your mind?
You say there is no chance for us, tomorrow or today
Imagine what would happen, if you just decided to stay
I know that you’d be happy, and I know I would be too
But that would never happen, that’s why I’m so blue
So we both will walk off, and go our separate ways
Nobody knows what would happen, because no one ever stays

----------------------------------------------------------------------


There and Back


As I’m looking down the road, I’ll tell you what I see
The only thing we need in life, which is you and me
The children they have grown, and moved to another state
They left us here all alone, to contemplate our fate
This is what we’ve been waiting for, for all of our whole life
To be all by our selves, a husband and his wife
Now we have the time, to do the things that we want
The kids aren’t sitting back at home, our consciences to haunt
I told you they would grow up, and move away someday
But you said they needed us, so right here we must stay
Now they’re gone and moved away, just like I had planned
They are all grown up now, they need no helping hand
So now we can travel and have some fun, before we get too old
It’s time for us to move on now, we have memories to hold
But we still have lots of time, to build up plenty more
Now that I have proved I’m right, and you know the score
So let’s put the past behind us, and start living for today
We can do whatever we want; here we don’t have to stay
We can travel all over the land, and see a lot of sights
Or maybe just stay right here, and really enjoy the nights
We have lots of time to kill, to spend all alone
If the kids want to talk, they can use the phone
We might be right here at home, or maybe far away
It’s nobody else’s business, they can have no say
We could travel far and wide, all across this land
It really doesn’t matter, as long as you hold my hand
Or we could stay right here in town, maybe go to the motel
We can do whatever we want, our souls we don’t have to sell
When I look into the past, we had a real good life
But it wouldn’t have been the same, without my loving wife
We had a lot of good times, over these past years
But there were some times, when we shed some tears
I’d like to say I’m sorry for that, and try to make amends
Before we write the last page, and the story ends
It’s not too late to make up for time; we lost when we would fight
All it takes is both of us, wanting to make things right
So we both do say we’re sorry, and then a great big hug
And when we feel this damn good, it’s better than any drug
For all the years I called you Wifey, I wouldn’t change a thing
To you my name was Hubby and I felt like a king
We’ve been down the road, down the road and back
And all along the way, we never did backtrack
That is how the story ends or at least the way it should
Everyone is happy and everything is good




----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dreams
I hate to close my eyes at night, because that is when I dream
And the visions that I have, make me want to scream
I have dreams where you are gone, and I am left alone
Those dreams are the worst ones, they chill me to the bone
Even when I’m wide awake, the dreams they still haunt me
They stay right there in my mind, only just to taunt me
Then one day I realize, it’s not really a dream at all
That is when I grab the phone, and attempt to give you a call
You never even tried your best, to make our marriage last
I could tell you didn’t want to try; you jumped in bed too fast
Just the very thought of that act, really makes me sick
In my eyes that is wrong, you might as well have pulled a trick
At least then you’d make some cash, to maybe pay your rent
But instead you do it for free, your morals they are spent
In My opinion Adultery, is the worst betrayal of yourself
You just took your conscience, and put it on the shelf
If you tried to use it, it would tell you you’re not right
You can’t let that happen, you couldn’t sleep at night
You send a message to your kids, that cheating is okay
Maybe someday you will realize, there is a price to pay
You’re main job in life, while the kids are small
Is to teach them what is right and wrong, and help them to stand tall
What you’re doing is so wrong, in everyone’s eyes but yours
You used to say women that did that, were nothing more than whores
Now that you are doing it too, you try to justify your act
But you can never do that, your morals you have sacked
You used to have a strong belief, in what is wrong and right
Now you just ignore it, it helps you sleep at night
Now it is your turn, to deal with the nightmares
Because you know your husband, is the only one that cares
He cares about more than himself, you are his main concern
You say that you don’t think that’s true, and away you turn
But deep down inside of you, you know he is the man
That he is the only one, that really had a plan
He had a plan for your lives, together till the end
But you didn’t want to try, so you’d just pretend
You pretended for many years, that everything was right
Now you don’t understand, why you can’t sleep at night
Because at night the dreams come out, and wake you in a sweat
And when you wake up you wonder, why your sheets are so wet
But then at last you realize, how bad you really feel
That all the things he told you, were very, very real
But by now you had changed him, his feelings weren’t so good