11-21-2005, 10:22 AM
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| Krazed Addicted Master  Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Private Age: 30
Posts: 2,796
My Mood:    | Church Bloopers Thank god for church ladies with typewriters... This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of Those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a Nursery downstairs. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance
__________________  Is this the part when I'm supposed to give a shit? Sorry... must've missed it. |
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11-22-2005, 01:29 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Brandon 1st Blood, Part 2  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri Age: 21
Posts: 2,499
My Mood:   | Thanks Brandon I needed that. 
__________________ A dragon you say? I poke him in the eye with my stick of pokeing +2  Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced. |
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11-28-2005, 03:02 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| kats' british boy toy Honorary Crazed Psycho  Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: England Age: 36
Posts: 1,476
My Mood:  | some good guffaws from that one 
__________________  What doesn't kill you, merely prolongs the inevitable  my page http://www.stov.co.uk |
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that was good. Had to make my dad read them.
some of them were really good!
cybastov
