09-08-2005, 03:59 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| It's Not PMS, It's You...  Join Date: May 2004 Location: Private Age: 39
Posts: 1,827
My Mood:  | Newlyweds A couple had only been married for two weeks, but the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back. "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop ... but at the bar ... you know ... they have Frozen glasses...." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer ! mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise...OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips. "But my sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER ... GOT IT, ASSHOLE?" And they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story? |
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09-08-2005, 04:00 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Darkside Tour Guide  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: West Virginia Age: 38
Posts: 1,283
My Mood:  | ick. ewwwwwwwwwww. made my skin crawl lmao
__________________ I am the bullet in the gun, I am the truth from which you run I am the Silencing Machine, I am the end of all your dreams. Before you criticize someone else, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. |
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09-08-2005, 07:58 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Brandon 1st Blood, Part 2  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri Age: 21
Posts: 2,499
My Mood:    | Nice. I hope when I married my wife will make me all those nifty things. I like pigs in blankets.
__________________ A dragon you say? I poke him in the eye with my stick of pokeing +2  Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced. |
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09-09-2005, 07:10 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| kats' british boy toy Honorary Crazed Psycho  Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: England Age: 36
Posts: 1,476
My Mood:   | I fear for my life in 6 weeks then  , but then I don't go down the pub drinking.. maybe my ass is not so cooked afterall 
__________________  What doesn't kill you, merely prolongs the inevitable  my page http://www.stov.co.uk |
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Ive heard that before but it is great! 
The Army is my husband's mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention. 
cybastov
