08-31-2005, 10:42 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Darkside Tour Guide  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: West Virginia Age: 38
Posts: 1,283
My Mood:  | Trojan's answer to Derek TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY INC. 6969 SLIPPERY TOOL LANE DROPTROUSERS. NC 22250-0060 Dear Derek We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product TROJAN CONDOMS. Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our board of directors feels that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose and baggy, wrinkled condom is NOT romantic. We did admire your efforts to try and fix it up by using poly-grip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that yours is the first we’ve seen that looked like a bicycle grip. We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration if by chance we decide there is a market for micro-mini condoms. We send greetings to your girlfriend, and our deepest sympathy to her. Sincerely: TROJAN CONDOM CO. Burly Dick, President P.S. Remember our slogan, Cover your stump before you hump, don’t be silly, protect your willy, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker, before you attack her wrap your wacker. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and wack it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always liked "even if she ain't funky, cover your monkey!"
__________________ I am the bullet in the gun, I am the truth from which you run I am the Silencing Machine, I am the end of all your dreams. Before you criticize someone else, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. |
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08-31-2005, 10:49 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Sexy Party Coordinator  Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Age: 25
Posts: 6,338
My Mood:    |  that is fantastic
__________________  The Army is my husband's mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention. Last edited by CuteKitten2C; 07-17-2006 at 05:23 PM. |
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08-31-2005, 11:51 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Brandon 1st Blood, Part 2  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri Age: 21
Posts: 2,499
My Mood:   | I gotta couple friends that need to recieve this in the mail.
__________________ A dragon you say? I poke him in the eye with my stick of pokeing +2  Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced. |
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08-31-2005, 02:44 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Darkside Tour Guide Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: West Virginia Age: 38
Posts: 1,283
My Mood: | Please feel free to copy and forward it, my friend...everybody needs a poke at their ego every now and then.
__________________ I am the bullet in the gun, I am the truth from which you run I am the Silencing Machine, I am the end of all your dreams. Before you criticize someone else, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. |
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08-31-2005, 03:40 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Darkside Tour Guide Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: West Virginia Age: 38
Posts: 1,283
My Mood: | Derek, there's no need to not post in this one...I'll do my best to see if they'll make a sock condom...promise.
__________________ I am the bullet in the gun, I am the truth from which you run I am the Silencing Machine, I am the end of all your dreams. Before you criticize someone else, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. |
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