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Old 08-26-2005, 10:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
CuteKitten2C
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The World explained with cows.

THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES:

....A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

....A SOCIALIST:

You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.

....A REPUBLICAN:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

....A DEMOCRAT:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you
voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous.

....A COMMUNIST:

You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.

....A FASCIST:

You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

....DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you
have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one
cow, which was a gift from your government.


....CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.

....BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the
drain.

....AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

....A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

....A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

....A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

....AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break
for lunch.

....A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

....A MEXICAN CORPORATION:

You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks
like. You take a nap.

....A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
them for others
.
..A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares
bankruptcy.

....AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.


....A TALIBAN

You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan
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Old 08-26-2005, 02:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
Johnboat
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I saw something likes this before, but it was much shorter. Thanks for the new material.
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