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Jokester's Hall Make us laugh, cackle, and giggle. Tell us your jokes!

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Old 08-09-2005, 11:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
RunsonInsanity
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Travel Agents' Woes

I have been a Travel Agent for thirty years. I think I now know why this
country is in so much trouble!

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hairwouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,
then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts" Without trying to make her look like the
stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response...(click).

A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did, I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in th middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"

I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No."She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have
to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!"

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.

Now you too know why our Government is in the shape that it's in.
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Old 08-09-2005, 11:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
HarlotsBeast
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Old 08-09-2005, 11:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
garage*girl
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Those are too funny!
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Old 08-09-2005, 01:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
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the funny thing about that......we can manage to send all these nuts someplace else....and they keep coming back hehe
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Old 08-11-2005, 09:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
Gilgar
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I should run for congress. I think if I dropped a few IQ points and smoked alot of dope I could fit right in.
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