07-06-2005, 10:15 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Krazed Addicted Master  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Virginia Age: 29
Posts: 1,913
My Mood:    | Tales of the Technologically Challenged Tales of the Technologically Challenged Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! =============== Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... =============== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! =============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? =============== Customer: I can't get on the internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. =============== Tech support: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." =============== And last but not least: Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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07-06-2005, 01:13 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| kats' british boy toy Honorary Crazed Psycho  Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: England Age: 36
Posts: 1,476
My Mood:   | some of these people should offer up their address's, so that they can be removed from the gene pool 
__________________  What doesn't kill you, merely prolongs the inevitable  my page http://www.stov.co.uk |
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07-06-2005, 10:38 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| THAT Guy  Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 33
Posts: 677
My Mood: | here's another for you This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time.I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee now I know why they record these conversations "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV." "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." "Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power........a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer." |
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07-07-2005, 12:31 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Schizoid Insominac Honorary Crazed Psycho  Join Date: May 2004 Location: Private Age: 27
Posts: 223
My Mood:  | Been there, done that... http://rinkworks.com/stupid/ I used to be an Online Tech for Microsoft.  I read that site if I need to relieve some stress or just need a good laugh. |
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07-07-2005, 02:12 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Brandon 1st Blood, Part 2  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri Age: 21
Posts: 2,499
My Mood:  | that stuff is rich. these people should be directed to play in heavy traffic. The worst thing i ever done was forget my password. That was easy enough to bypass with customer support. They should get medals for working with idiots.
__________________ A dragon you say? I poke him in the eye with my stick of pokeing +2  Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced. |
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cybastov
The Army is my husband's mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention. 
